Get out of bed, get motivated, get dressed, care about other people’s feelings, care about much of anything really. We all have those days. You just lay there despising the alarm clock and that infernal ball of light in the sky. It seems like it is mocking you. It seems like it is saying “I am so bright and cheery. Get up and smile and sing and dance.” Like my life is some sort of musical. I am not Mary Poppins. I am more like Sleeping Beauty, while she was under the curse, you know, sleeping. The only song you will get out of me in the morning is the sound of cursing and tripping over pets on my obstacle filled path to the bathroom and then to the coffee pot. So go away sun, go away cheerful little birds, go chirp at someone else, you are just loud and obnoxious.
I don’t care if you like the way I look, the way I dress, the way I wear my hair. I don’t want to go do adult things like paying bills, buying groceries, leaving the house. I mean really, come on. If I don’t leave the house then I don’t have to shower right? Or get dressed. This sounds like a winning system to me.
So the moral of the story is…I don’t want to, I’m not gonna, and you can’t make me. I am going to go crawl back in bed under the covers with my fruit snacks and my coffee. And stay there. For as long as I want. Or until I have to pee again.
